Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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