): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
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She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
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It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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