Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
