party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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