so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
