Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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