Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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