Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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