He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
