Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
