im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize