I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
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Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
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He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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