Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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