He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
