i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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