Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
