the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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