at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
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That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Never joke about your clitoris.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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