I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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