I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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