here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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