so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
