I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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