Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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