The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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