Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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