the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
