then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
