dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
