So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
