i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
don't judge my taste in strippers
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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