why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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