We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
