I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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