i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
