Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Success! We fucked roommates!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
