Apparently you make a good broom.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize