Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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