He disabled his match.com account in front of me
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
