No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize