They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
