i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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