Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
