Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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