Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
