There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
