she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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