Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
