Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
