just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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