I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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