the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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