organizing the empties. That sober.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
