Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
