You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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