Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she peed on how many people?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
