I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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