You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE