Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...