Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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