i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
