Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
