I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
