'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
