i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
