Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
