I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
