I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
