1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
