Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Everyone says I win the strip club
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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