I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
