No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
